When your husband ignores you and doesn't do his homework, solve the problem of 'absence of sex' and find a way to have children.

Summary: Having sex only 2-3 times a year in a relationship is not normal. This article analyzes the 3 main causes of low libido in men over 30 and offers 5 solutions, including health, psychology, and proper communication, to maintain the relationship and plan for having children.

1. Diagnosing the Problem: 3 Main Causes of 'Homework Apathy'

Having sex less than 10 times a year is a sign of **Sexless Marriage**, which often has more complex causes than just being tired from work. For men in their late 30s, the main causes can be divided into 3 parts:

A. Physiological and Hormonal Problems

If your husband **"can't get an erection for a long time"** or **"fails to maintain an erection when changing positions"**, this is a clear sign of **Erectile Dysfunction (ED)** or endurance problems, not just low desire, which may be caused by:

• Stress/Anxiety: Worrying about the next erection creates a cycle of failure.
• Low testosterone: This condition is common in working men who are sleep deprived, which directly reduces their sex drive.
• Circulation Problems: Despite being in good shape, office work habits can lead to irregular circulation problems.

B. Psychological Low Libido

If your husband **"ticks"** when you are hugged or kissed, it may indicate:

• Pressure to perform: He worries that once he starts, he will succeed, which leads to refusal to avoid failure.
• Emotional fatigue: Accumulated stress from office work causes the body to block sexual desire to conserve energy.

C. Communication Breakdown

When a wife has to **"beg"** her husband to have sex with her and is reprimanded for **"not taking out the fire"**, the problem worsens because:

• **Women feel ashamed:** Repeated rejection creates a feeling of excessive neediness, which undermines self-confidence.
• **The man feels threatened:** The one-sided introduction of the issue makes him feel even more pressured, and he reacts defensively.

2. 5 solutions to find solutions for having children and married life

You don't have to bear this stress alone. Addressing this issue requires collaborative planning and serious action:

Approach 1: Serious consultation with a specialist

This is an inevitable step. If your husband is experiencing erectile dysfunction (ED) and low desire, he should consult a **sexual medicine** doctor for a hormonal and physical diagnosis, possibly with medication.

Approach 2: Ask the question “How do we solve this problem?” (not “Why not?”)

The third communication should be less about blame and more about future planning. Use language that emphasizes **collaboration** so that your husband feels part of the solution.

💡 **Read more:** Correct communication techniques to reduce arguments and increase understanding in your relationship: How to talk to your partner so that he understands your needs.

Approach 3: Set a "deadline" for natural fertility.

Since you have PCOS limitations and want clarity about fertility, set a serious **deadline** for natural trying, such as "We will try as recommended by the doctor (twice a week) for the next 6 months only. If it doesn't work, we will follow the scientific process in stages" to create clear accountability.

Approach 4: Cooperative stress management to open emotional space

Work stress is a major cause of your body blocking your sexual desire. Try finding a solution together, such as a relaxing massage or self-stress therapy, before starting sexual activity to prepare your body for pleasure.

💡 **Product recommendation:** A massage device for relieving stress that can stimulate the body to relax: Stress Relief Massager

Guideline 5: Consult a relationship expert.

If talking things out in person still fails, consulting a relationship professional can help create a safe space for your husband to be honest about his sexual performance without feeling embarrassed.