How to use accessories without being embarrassed

1. Why are most people "shy" about bringing accessories into their relationship?

It's normal to feel shy or worried that your partner will misunderstand you. Introducing accessories into your relationship can prompt sensitive questions like, "Am I not good enough?" or "Are you tired of me?"

In psychology, accessories are seen as 'third parties' entering your personal space. But if you look at it more carefully, **accessories are ' tools '** that add depth and explore new desires, which is a good sign of caring for the relationship.

2. 4 Psychological Steps to "Shameless" Communication

Presenting accessories requires preparation and communication that emphasizes a shared experience, following these steps:

Step 1: Create a safe and relaxing atmosphere (The Setup)

• Avoid confrontation: This topic should not be discussed during an activity or during a conflict.
• Use positive language: Start by praising what your partner is already doing well, such as, "I loved our time together, and I think we'd have even more fun if we tried new things together."

Step 2: Use "we" instead of "you" (The Framing)

This should be presented as a **"joint survey"**, not a one-sided solution:

"I saw this device and thought of 'us'. I wanted to try it out to see if it could bring 'us' new and exciting feelings?"

This will change from a feeling of blame to a feeling of an exciting adventure.

Step 3: Start with "safe" equipment (The First Step)

Start with devices that emphasize **external touch** or **mutual stimulation**, such as clitoral stimulators or role-play devices, to minimize emotional and physical intrusion.

Step 4: Setting the shared usage rules (The Agreement)

When the equipment arrives, agree that:

1. Who will be the first to operate the equipment? (It is recommended that the initiator operate it first.)
2. Establish a "safe word" so that both parties feel safe and can immediately stop the activity if they feel uncomfortable.

3. Choosing accessories as "gifts of love"

Choosing accessories that focus on your partner's needs shows that you care about his/her happiness. For example:

• **If couples want some mental excitement:** Consider ** remote-controlled vibrating eggs ** that emphasize confidentiality and remote control.
• **If couples are looking for a new sensation:** Consider ** an enlargement sleeve ** for added thickness and a different feel.

Shopping together or having your partner participate in the selection can greatly reduce embarrassment and increase excitement.